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Archive for November, 2007

Summary, 11/29/07

Not a bad day at all!  Probably the worst part of it was the pizza for dinner, but I did what I could to make it healthy, with pretty good results.  Tasted fabulous too. 

 Had a decent workout; I did the strength & sculpt BL workout, which I love, and then about 20 minutes on the treadmill. I never got above 3.5, but I did have the incline set super-high and definitely felt it in my butt and thighs.  I have decided that a lower speed with a higher incline may be better for me than a higher speed and a lower incline.  Except for short sprints, which I am trying to get used to incorporating into the treadmill sessions.  So anyway.  Good workout.  I’m feeling it today, too, which is good.  🙂

I am pretty pleased with the way the day went.  Being back on my normal schedule helped, and just knowing that if I didn’t get moving I would never get any energy back.  I am feeling better today despite this lingering cold or whatever it is; my energy levels are coming back up slowly but surely.

I work tonight, so I am going to do my spot exercises today but with a change; I am not doing any strength – I will leave that for my alternating-night strength workouts.  I am going to do strictly cardio bursts to try to keep my metabolism up and hopefully, also, my energy levels.  We will see how that goes.

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Food log, 11/29/07

6:30 a.m.:  2 slices light whole wheat toast w/fat free spray margarine; 2 slices low-sodium bacon; 1/2 c. coffee w/sugar free creamer; 1 banana; 16 oz water

8:05 a.m.:  1 c. green chai tea w/sugar free creamer; 16 oz water

9:30 a.m.:  1/2 apple; 1 low-fat cheese bar; 16 oz water

10:30 a.m.:  16 oz water

12:05 p.m.:  Healthy Choice bean & ham soup; 16 oz water

1:30 p.m.:  12 oz water

2:15 p.m.:  16 oz water; 1 Kashi trail mix chewy granola bar; 10 baby carrots

3:00 p.m.:  16 oz water

5:50 p.m.:  6-inch homemade pizza (whole-wheat crust, fat-free cheese, homemade pizza sauce); 32 oz water

8:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.:  32 oz water during and after workout

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Hm.  Didn’t get a chance to blog about this yesterday…

But then again, there’s not really a lot to say.  I was left a little disappointed with the show.  The challenge was sort of lame…I’m not saying it wasn’t difficult, I am sure it was, just that it didn’t rivet me the way the challenges usually do. 

 But whatever.  I was impressed with Neil’s stamina and refusal to quit in the last chance workout.  That was one of the moments that really stood out for me.  But that was about it – oh, and I felt really sorry for Nicole.  I will grant you that she definitely shouldn’t have tried diving there…but it still sucks to get your teeth knocked out.  She was such a good sport about it, too – imagine if that had happened to some of the whinier people who have been on the show? 

Once the weigh-in was done, there was no question who was going home, which sort of sucked.  I love Jillian to death – can’t get over the “more creative beatings” comment – but I can’t help feeling that if there are only Black team members left in the final four, which is a very real possibility, then it will be sort of anticlimatic. 

And that sort of sums up my reaction to the show.  I don’t know if it’s because all my favorites are gone – okay, Kae, I guess, because I still like Julie and Bill – but I am just sort of having a hard time being enthused about it right now.  Hopefully that will wear off.

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Once more, with feeling.

This has been the craziest week.  I have not spent an entire day at work yet, though today should be the day for that.  I have done nothing but run around like a chicken with its head cut off and flounder for some sort of control or structure.  I have got to get my head, and my schedule, straight.

Yesterday was the dentist, or should have been but I couldn’t get out of the house in time, so I had to cancel that.  I hate the dentist, so I wasn’t too upset about it, but I really shouldn’t put it off.  Every time I miss my regular cleaning or postpone it, I wind up with a cavity.  This time I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to have a root canal on the tooth I just had a crown put on, because it’s very very sensitive…so I’m putting off hearing that wonderful and very expensive news.  But I need to go.

Then we had a meeting with the Gifted Eligibility Committee about Brennah…and she’s in.  (Allow me a moment to crow about that…okay, I’m done.)  But that took another hour or so…so it was nearly lunchtime before I got here.  My eating was not great, and I worked last night, so no exercise.  All in all, not a good day, like every other day this week.

But okay, whatever.  Moving on.  I got up this morning determined to plant my feet firmly on the ground and just start trudging.  My DH is under STRICT instructions to force me to exercise tonight, and if I resist he has permission to take away all my books.  (gasp!)  Or smack me in the head, whichever seems likeliest to work.  So I have a firm date with the treadmill tonight, and the strength DVD, and the only thing that is going to stop me is if my legs, at some point today, literally FALL OFF.

I’ve got all my food, too, and I am refusing to even consider the possibility that I would not eat it, but would choose to eat something bad.  Not today.  Not going to happen.

To boost my determination and resolve (and confidence), I decided to wear something that I haven’t worn in a while because it was too small.  After sorting through the closet, I came up with my Goal Outfit.  It’s not a wintry outfit really – I never wear pastels in the winter and it’s sort of a slate blue – but I elected not to care.  🙂  I wore the pants instead of the skirt and frankly, it looks fabulous.  I am going to try to get pictures tonight and post them.  I am quite pleased with this.  It feels so good to be able to actually wear, for a whole day, something that I have literally never worn because I bought it to “diet into” – 6 years ago.  Well, better late than never.  🙂

So.  I am not “starting again” because I hate that mindset.  I am just picking back up the reins that I dropped for a few days.  I’m just…regaining my sanity.  🙂  And today will be a good day.

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A New Day! (11/27/07)

Okay, back to routine.  Fresh start and all that crap.

The weekend was…hectic.  Very hectic.  I don’t think I had a single normal meal, and I couldn’t tell you what I ate.  Very little; I went from mildly nauseous to violently ill and back again for four straight days, so I didn’t eat a lot.  No formal exercise at all, though I worked enough hours to burn tons of calories.  But all in all, not a week I am particularly overjoyed about, though it could have been SO much worse.

I slept nearly all day yesterday, having finally hit the wall after working through the stomach bug or whatever it was all weekend…so I feel a little better for that. I needed that sleep.  Tonight is the Biggest Loser, so hopefully I will get a good workout in.  Meanwhile, I am drinking my water (I did well with that over the holiday, anyway!) and eating my healthy stuff, and at least I feel like I’m back on track.  I do have to keep reminding myself that today is not Monday, though, and tomorrow is weigh-in.  Ugh.  I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it!

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…the fact that I actually put on, buttoned and zipped, a pair of size 8  pants yesterday.

Size 8.  Single digit.  ONE NUMBER, NOT TWO. 

It’s been years.  Many of them.  Probably around 10, at least. 

They weren’t comfortable – the waist was tight – but they fit me everywhere else.  And I was in them.  I won’t wear them, not yet, because of the waist, but I was in them.  And okay, maybe they’re a “big 8”.  I don’t know.  I don’t care.  I was in them, and they were an 8.

From a 16, in June of last year, to an 8.  AN 8, damn it!  

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What I’m Thankful For

Taking just a moment here, between basting the turkey and putting together the green bean casserole, to reflect on the day. 

I am thankful for so many things at this point in my life.  It has been an amazing year; at times so stressful that I lived in utter terror of what the next day was going to bring, and at times (more of these, though) so wonderful that I couldn’t imagine what I could have done to deserve all that I have.  I’ve been exhausted, stressed, heartsick and at my wit’s end…and I’ve been ebullient, overjoyed, and so proud of myself I could shout. 

I have come a long way since last Thanksgiving.  Last year, I was on the inward downslope of a slump, one that I wouldn’t snap out of for about 8 months.  I was wearing out, losing interest, losing faith, and thinking about giving up.  I was, in short, burned out.  This year, I am on the upward slope of a peak, feeling wonderful about my life and my lifestyle and pretty much everything in the world.  I am very hopeful that the peak will not actually be a peak (because a peak precedes another slump, after all), but a plateau.  I know, I know, plateau is a dirty word in Diet World, but think about it.  If you’re on a plateau, you have come WAY the hell up from where you started.  A plateau sits pretty high above the surrounding landscape, right?  It’s not something to curse, I don’t think, but something to embrace as a big improvement over where you started!

Anyway.  This year I feel that I have so much to be thankful for.  I have a wonderful husband who has shown me just how wonderful he can be this year, who has forgiven me my vicissitudes and lapses of intelligence, and who has stepped up to the plate when I needed him to fill the gap left by my absense due to working two jobs – and has shown almost no signs of resentment in the process.  I have two beautiful, wonderful daughters, both of whom are maturing so quickly it’s frightening and who amaze and delight me every day.  I am blessed with (though sometimes it feels like a curse) two jobs that enable me to climb my way out of the hole I have dug for myself – and with coworkers who, for the most part, are not bad to be around.  Some of them are TRUE blessings; I have met some wonderful people this year who have changed me and my life for the better.  Some of them are people I will hopefully stay in touch with when this phase of my life is over and I move on.  Some of them I would not hesitate to say I love.

But one of the biggest things I have to be thankful for is my health.  My lifestyle has changed so much in the past year and a half that it is barely recognizable.  I still have lapses, some of them rather revolting – but my status quo is not the same.  It’s nowhere near the same.  I don’t drink sweetened sodas; even diet soda is something of a rarity.  I never eat white bread, or anything really made with white flour, even when I’m being “bad”.  I just don’t.  These were two of my main weaknesses, so that’s a big deal.  I avoid sugar – I may have it once a week or so, again even when I’m being bad, instead of daily, which was the norm before.  Most profound of all, I exercise.  Not every now and then, but regularly.  It is a normal thing for me, where before I owned a NordicTrack and an exercise bike and hadn’t touched either one in about ten years. 

I am not only smaller – and yeah, I’m happy about that, don’t get me wrong – but I am so much healthier.  My body composition has changed so much.  I have more stamina than I ever thought I would have; still not as much as a lot of people, but amazing for me.  I can RUN, which I never could before, even when I was thin.  My skin is clearer, my blood pressure is down, my blood sugar stays pretty steady, I don’t have migraines monthly.  I am stronger.  I feel ten years younger than my age, instead of 20 years older.  I love life.

I am so thankful for the changes that have been made.  Part of that I can just be proud of, without having to thank anyone, because I’ve done it.  But a big part of it, I owe some serious thanks on.  I owe thanks to NBC and the creators of The Biggest Loser, the editors of Prevention Magazine, and everyone involved with the Biggest Loser Club website – because had I not stumbled on that site last summer, I would not have done this.  I know that I wouldn’t.  Not couldn’t, but wouldn’t.  It was a sheer accident that happened at exactly the right time, and I know without doubt that it was an act of God.  So ultimately, the thanks go to God – but I also owe them to all of the people mentioned above, as well as every contestant who has ever been on the show and all of the trainers.  It is a complete package that has given me the inspiration and impetus to change my life, and I am incredibly thankful for that.  I know that people think the show is cheesy, melodramatic, and overly commercial, and all of those things may be true.  But it is still a tool that I have been able to utilize to assist me in the most incredible life change I have ever attempted, and I am thankful for it.

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