Well, I’ve got to post at some point and there’s never going to be time, so morning-snack time is as good as any. 🙂
Today is, of course, Friday, which is my weigh-in day. Let me preface this by saying that although I was certainly not perfect yesterday – pizza for lunch and six oreos before dinner – I was better than the day before. I haven’t figured calories yet but I’m sure I was over, though probably not by that much. So I’m still doing a little emotional eating, but not outrageously. In fact, the pizza doesn’t really qualify as emotional eating, it was more just a moment of weakness…had to take the 8-year-old to the dentist and she had to have lunch before going back to school; she wanted Taco Bell and the nearest one was a Taco Bell Pizza Hut combo. And the rest is Personal Pan History. 🙂 But oh well.
Anyway, I’m getting better. And I had a really good workout too, not my hardest work – I think it’s time to move up to 10-pounds weights – but definitely a great workout. So it ended up being a pretty decently on-plan day.
Still, after two days of at least marginal weakness, and a lot of extra sodium, I wasn’t too confident about the scale. But I wasn’t stressed over it enough to avoid it, either, so I weighed and –
163.0 Still a pound over my all-time-low, but a pound and a half down from last week. A definite and distinct victory for which I am tearfully grateful. 🙂 Could I have made my goal had I been strong every day instead of most days? Possibly…and possibly not. And as it turns out, I don’t really care. I’m very, very happy. At this stage of the game, a pound and a half is pure gold. (Which reminds me, I need some sort of way of factoring in a loss into my stars…)
I also spent some time really looking at my body last night, and I noticed something extremely cool – I am beginning to show some definition in my abs. MY ABS! I never even had abs! 🙂 I have also noticed that I am able to come up a lot farther on my crunches than I ever could, even after I’d lost a bunch of weight, and I’m rockin’ the other ab exercises instead of grinding through them. I love getting strong!
It makes me feel so good to see changes that have nothing to do with weight – to actually see visible changes in the health and strength of my body. I think that makes me feel better than the numbers do, and I think it’s addictive. 🙂
Oh, and to top it all off? Remember that I am one of those people who just “don’t run”. I have always said, I don’t run unless I’m being chased. By something that will eat me if it catches me, or by a really big man with a really sharp knife. I will walk, and sometimes I will walk really, really fast…but I just don’t run.
But after watching the Biggest Loser, when Jillian made Brittany run at 14.0 on the treadmill, I got to talking about it with my friend. We both said, “I couldn’t do that,” and then I said, “yeah, but that’s what Brittany said, and Jillian made her do it anyway. And she could, and she did.” And I thought, you know, how many times have I said I can’t do something…and then proceeded to discover that I actually can? You’d think I’d have learned not to ever say “can’t” anymore, but I’m still doing it.
So I checked, and my treadmill only goes up to 10 mph. It has never gotten above 6, but I thought, I just want to see just how fast the belt moves at 10. So I hit it, and it was blindingly fast. And I thought, “I’m not stepping on that. No way, it’s too fast. I can’t.” And that pissed me off. So I did. And I ran, at 10 mph, for probably about 15 or 20 seconds. And it was FREAKIN’ AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, ran out of exclamation points. 🙂 But it was. I stopped not because I was exhausted or didn’t think I could continue – not even close – but because I really wasn’t there to run, and I was in the middle of my circuit training. But oh, my God, how awesome did it feel to do that? To find out that I’m still capable of way more than I’m doing?
So that settles it. I’m starting the Couch to 5K next week. I do not know how I’m going to add it in on top of my circuit training – which I’m not stopping, because I love it too much and it’s reshaping my body so fast and so beautifully – but I am going to find the time, because I have discovered that it feels amazingly good to find that I can run. 🙂
So anyway. I’m in a very happy place today, focusing on my accomplishments rather than the stresses of life, because that’s what I need to do right now and it makes me feel really good. And I’m being incredibly productive at work, which feels really good too, and I may just explode from all the feeling good. Nice change from exploding from feeling bad! 🙂
Happy Friday, everyone, and I will be out this weekend, so I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!