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Archive for April, 2008

Happy Wednesday, all…

Well, I walked last night.  Which I feel really good about though it might not have been the smartest thing from a back-pain perspective…but I just really needed to get out of the house and I really needed to feel like I was doing something.  It was great.  I don’t regret it for a minute. Which begs the question of why I think I should and I really can’t answer that.

I am still in some pain, but not like I was.  It’s clearly improving and I hope that by the end of the week I am going to be back to normal.  I don’t plan to do any circuits before then.  I need to be in good shape for Saturday morning because I have the breast cancer 5K and I need to be sure I can finish it.  Running is definitely out of the question now but I am absolutely going to walk it.

By the way, I know that several of you have made pledges/donations to that and I want to thank you again – I will post after the event and recognize everyone individually.  I hope you know in some small measure how much I appreciate your support.  It honestly means so much to me.  It’s not like I’m climbing a mountain or anything but it’s so wonderful to have all of your interest and support.

If anyone wants to donate but hasn’t had a chance yet, the cutoff is (I think) 9 a.m. on Saturday.  There’s a link here on the page.  Please don’t feel compelled though!

I’m short and choppy today…mostly just very tired.  I was awake at 3:30 this morning and just couldn’t get back to sleep for the oddest of reasons – I was fixated on David Duchovny.  I don’t know why.  I mean, okay, I know why, I absolutely adore him.  He’s yummy AND smart, and how could I not love that?  But I don’t know why I was thinking about him at 3:30 a.m.

Does anyone else find that they have really bizarre dreams and thought intrusions around “that time of the month”?  Or is it just my whacked-out brain?

Yes, that was officially a non-sequitur.  Here’s another:  this morning started off well. (That’s sarcasm, if you wondered.) You know it’s going to be a bad day when you start curling your hair and it tangles in the curling iron.  It’s one of those with a brush-barrel…so my hair tangled, and I absolutely could not get it undone.  It wouldn’t even break off (the hair, not the barrel; didn’t think to try that one) which usually it does all the freakin’ time.  Not those hairs, obviously, or they wouldn’t still have been there to get tangled, but my hair in general.  But not this time.  Nope, these were officially the fifteen strongest hairs on my entire head.

So I’m calling for DH to bring me scissors but he’s on the way out the door to take YD to the bus.  And I’m thinking, “Well, I don’t want to tell him it’s an emergency because then she’ll miss the bus and one of us will have to take her to school.”  So I don’t.  And meanwhile, my hair is starting to smoke.  Not Good.

So finally some semblance of intelligence percolates through the fog of exhaustion and panic and I summon the presence of mind to unplug the stupid curling iron and run to the kitchen to get the scissors.  Meanwhile the bathroom reeks of scorched hair.  Delicious.

So I have an impromptu haircut now.  It actually looks cute, sort of like I have layers around my face.  (I cut some on the other side so it matches.)  But now I definitely have to get my hair cut this weekend; no choice anymore. It’s not that noticeable really but I know.  Also, it reminds me of how much cuter my hair is with layers in.  🙂

So maybe it’s fate or something.  I don’t know.  And now I need to go work on my acceptance speech for the Bloggy Award for Beginning the Most Sentences With the Word “So” In A Single Post.

So (ha!) that’s how my day started.  Fortunately it’s sort of improved from there.  It would kind of have to.  Except for the teenager who wants to leave school early every day so she’s decided now she has back pain (wow, wonder where she got THAT idea?) and the fact that I’m panicking about any number of things I have to get done very soon and the fact that I have to go grocery shopping tonight…but otherwise it’s gotten better.

And now I’ve officially forgotten whatever it is I’m meant to be talking about.  I don’t know.  I hope that everyone’s having a wonderful Wednesday, I know that.  And I know that I really need a nap.  But that’s about it.

Gah.

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Happy Tuesday, everybody!  I’ve been MIA for a few days due to a number of factors but I’m back now.

As far as a check-in is concerned…well, I still don’t have a fully functional scale.  Mine seems to have developed a form of schizophrenia and will give me a different weight every five minutes…wildly different.  Today it’s telling me I’m up five pounds from my last weigh-in, which might be true as it’s a bad week for me…but might not.  Two days ago it said I was up ten.  So you know, take it with a grain of salt substitute.

Over the weekend, I spent an hour or so playing vigorous running games with a two-year-old (but he’s adorable, who could tell him no?) and that, combined with more walking than I’m used to and much less stretching than I needed, has resulted in a massive flare-up of sciatica.  So for the past two days, I’ve been pretty much out of commission, meaning no exercise.  Not Good.  I’ve also been struggling with terminal PMS cravings, which means my food hasn’t been great either.  Also Not Good.  So yeah, the five pounds could be real.

I honestly don’t care.  I should, I guess, but I don’t.  Pain is a funny thing…it suddenly becomes the most important – hell, the only important thing in the whole wide world.  It’s subsiding now – I am moving much more freely and I can sniffle or take a sudden deep breath without literally going to my knees.  So that’s really good…but I’m still sort of mentally worn out.

Which led me to an interesting thought.  I know your body needs rest days – I’m a big proponent of them – but I don’t guess it had occurred to me before that maybe the mind does, too.  Because honestly, the one thought that kept going through my head when I was really having problems (Sunday, this would be) was that I just didn’t want to think about it.  I didn’t want to have to think about what I was eating or if it was time to eat or how much I should have or anything else.  It wasn’t that I wanted to eat a lot, it was just that I didn’t want to have to undergo that mental effort of figuring out what I should be eating.  I was just mentally tired.

I was physically tired too, and having a few days off from exercise will hopefully give my body a chance to regroup.  I know it’s going to be hard picking it back up and I’m sort of dreading that…but not really.  Because I seem to have finally really and truly absorbed what I’ve been telling people for two years – this is a marathon, not a sprint.  If I have a couple of bad weeks, it’s going to slow down my weight loss and be a setback in my general health, yes.  But it’s not a failure by any means, and it does not in any way negate the good I’ve done over the past two years, nor the good I will do over the next (hopefully) 50.  So it’s okay to start back slowly instead of jumping back in with both feet – which will make it a little easier.

So…I’ve had a few days off.  Realistically speaking, today will probably be a day off too.  I’m better, but I’m not back to normal.  So I’m not going to spend a lot of effort and energy (which I don’t have!) thinking about food.  I’m not going out looking for junk (though I have done some of that the past couple of days) but I’m not stressing over it either.  Tomorrow night is grocery-shopping night so I know I will be back on track on Thursday at the latest.  So another day or two isn’t going to kill me.   Exercise-wise, I’d like to get out and walk tonight but I’m not sure if that will happen.  I’m waiting for my Aleve to wear off to see what my back’s position on the whole thing is…if it speaks up in protest, I probably won’t walk.  Walking (oddly) is the thing that causes the most issues with my back, because my hip muscles are so tight.  (And yes, I absolutely welcome any suggestions on what to do about that!)  But I’d like to because (a) I really, really enjoy it and the conversation that goes with it; and (b) I will feel less like a giant slug.  So I’m hoping but cautiously.

In other news, ED went to prom Saturday with her ex-BF…it was a little sad as they are not together but they were very lovely and they both had a good time.  YD had her sleepover that she’s been wanting, sort of, and that went well despite a rocky ending – staying up all night always equals drama with 8-year-olds.  It was okay though and she and I had a very productive and positive confrontation (does that sound contradictory?  It really isn’t…)  She ended up being grounded for two days but we had a wonderful discussion and meeting of the minds that has really improved her behavior and our interactions…which may, if I am very lucky, last a whole week.  🙂  Hey, with preadolescent girls, you gotta take what you can get.

Tomorrow night the mission people are coming to get our old couch and take it away.  (maniacal grin)  And Friday, our new one is supposed to be delivered!  I can’t tell you how excited I am about that.  Very excited, though.  And this weekend after the Breast Cancer 5K and YD’s soccer game, we are stealing away to the cabin for a mini-getaway.  The weather is supposed to be beautiful so we’ll have nearly the whole day Sunday out on the boat – first trip out this season.  I’m excited about that too.  Lying in the sun sounds just about my speed, right now.

I have a lot to get done at work today so I’ll try to visit as many people as possible; I miss you all when I don’t get to read!  But if I don’t make it today, I promise I’ll do my very best to get around this evening.

Have a great Tuesday and a wonderful week!

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Just a Quickie…

Hah.  Get your mind out of the gutter.

Happy Friday!  Quick post here as I have lots of work to get done today but I wanted to “poke my head in” and get my thoughts down.

Yesterday was a horrible day as far as how I felt (massive and recalcitrant allergy attack that still isn’t completely gone) but a wonderful day for food and exercise.  I missed breakfast (long story) but tried to make up calories as I went instead of end-loading at night, though I did still end up having to pack in a few at about 8 p.m.  Not bad though.  I did my circuit, though I wasn’t able to walk afterward because (a) no WAY was I venturing outside and (b) I had so many other things I needed to get done at the house.  Also, my allergy medicine had kicked in by then and staying upright was enough of a challenge.

But I did my planned workout, just nothing extra.  So yesterday was Gold Star Day no. 2 in my new streak.  I am loving April’s calendar – 19 days of Gold, four days of silver, then back to gold.  Not too bad.  Actually, a hell of a month.  I’ll take it.

Today I’m tired and a little depressed – medication always does that to me – but I’m determined to keep up my momentum.  I’ve been super-productive at work, very much On Plan with my eating and exercise, and even getting things done at home in the evenings.  I even did some laundry this morning and have the dishwasher running so it’ll be ready to unload tonight.

It feels good to be doing what I need to do.  I like it.  🙂  I’m going to go do some more of it right now.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and I’ll go read and comment at lunch.  (And if I’ve missed you over the past couple of days – I have a few of you – know that I really do miss you and I’m making it a point to catch up today.)

MWAH!

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Happy Thursday, Blogland!  Sorry to have skipped out on things yesterday but I am taking a page from Rose‘s book and trying to get work done before blogging and reading.  Yesterday was very productive but also very busy and I just never got here.  I’m still working on a balance!

DH is going in early today so I just got up with him so I can get some things done before the craziness starts.  🙂 

Yesterday was a gold star day, the first one in a few days, so I’m quite pleased with that.  This despite the fact that we had our People-Who-Sit-At-Desks-And-Refrain-From-Murdering-CoWorkers Day luncheon (it may be called Administrative Professionals Day in your Land), which was completely unheralded and therefore unplanned-for.  I did well though; a few coconut shrimp, a huge portion of steamed broccoli, one very small roll and two bites of chocolate brandy mousse.  (I took the whole serving of mousse back to the office, ate two bites, then got rid of it.  Wasteful?  Yes.  Healthy?  Yep.  It was awesome and I could easily have eaten the whole thing.)

I even had a 2.5 mile walk with my neighbor B., even though it was technically a rest day.  Honestly, walking – while I love it and fully recognize it as exercise – just doesn’t make me feel that I didn’t have my “day off”.  Really, if I’m not doing my circuit, I feel I’ve had my day off.  I will make sure to take my day completely off on Sunday but I don’t think it will hurt me a bit to walk on Wednesdays.  It actually felt really, really good.  And certainly alleviated any guilt I might have had over the two bites of mousse.  🙂  I wore my pedometer yesterday too so with the walk, my steps were at just over 15,000 for the day.  Not too bad!

Today is also, of course, my thankful post.  🙂  I said the other day that I knew what it would be about and I do.  Today…this week…lately, I am particularly thankful for the blog community. 

I’ve only been blogging regularly for about six months.  Before that, it just honestly hadn’t occurred to me that people were blogging about weight loss or healthy living. I just hadn’t thought about it.  When I decided (based on something random I stumbled upon that mentioned WordPress) to start a blog, I started writing about various thoughts I had – that’s actually my other blog, ThinkingThoughts, though it certainly may seem like I’m talking about this one!  🙂  But when I really got serious again about sticking with my healthy lifestyle – when I decided that I wasn’t going to let working two jobs destroy that lifestyle – I thought it would be helpful to start a blog about it for my own benefit.

I had no idea.  I really did not know where that would lead.  But today, I have made the acquaintance of so many wonderful people who have been supportive and encouraging and inspiring and generally wonderful.  I have been blessed with not only their support, but with also sharing their own journeys.  I have learned so much and I have found myself able to maintain a level of focus that keeps me on this path even when I stray a little from day to day.

I won’t make a list here – I have one already.  It’s the blogroll on the right.  There are a couple of people who aren’t there for reasons of their own, but I am hoping they will be soon because they definitely belong at the head of the list.  They know who they are.  🙂 

Today, I am thankful that in a world the size of ours, in a society that has raised detachment, impersonality and self-interest to both an art and a science, it is possible to connect with other people in a way that enriches all of our lives.  I am thankful that despite the fact that we are all in different places – some of us literally as far apart as we can be and be on the same planet – and all in different stages of this journey, even though we are following different paths and have slightly different goals – we can still connect and offer the kind of support and empathy that make this whole thing possible. 

We all know this isn’t easy.  It isn’t anything like easy.  But we have all made, are all making, major changes that are going to keep us strong and healthy and alive for much longer than we’d have dreamed possible.  And despite the distance and difference, we are all doing it together.  It doesn’t make it easy – but it makes it possible.  It makes it possible for me to have a couple of really crappy days and then literally just pick myself up and get back to what I know I need to do.  It makes it possible for me to know that someone across the world is having a difficult time and to be there for him or her, to offer my understanding and my sympathy and my support even though I have never really met that person and they are living in a completely different culture.

I’m not putting this as eloquently as I’d like, because it’s early and I’m rushed.  But this is important to me.  This blog keeps me focused; it keeps my eyes on the prize, so to speak; it keeps me aware of what it is that I’m doing with my life.  It keeps me from gradually losing interest and forgetting about being healthy.  Those are all good things, and I’m thankful for that too.  But the people – you people! – are something more.  You keep me interested, and nurtured, and sometimes just flat entertained.  Oh, yes, and inspired.  Way, WAY, inspired.

So today I’m just thankful for having “met” some really amazingly wonderful people who have done more for me than I can possibly express, and whose lives I am incredibly privileged to have been allowed to share in some small measure.

Thanks, y’all.  (Little bit of Oklahoma comin’ at you, right there.)  You are all amazing and special and I am moved beyond expression by you all.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday – I plan to! – and I am going to read and comment at lunchtime.  I missed you all!

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Update:  Ooh, I forgot to mention.  I’m very excited because last night someone mistook me for my 16-year-old daughter!  How cool is that?

Okay, so he’s only two years old and it was from a distance.  Don’t harsh my mellow, man.  🙂

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Happy Tuesday morning, everybody!  It’s finally going to be sunny and warm here again after some rather nasty chilly days.  I’m extremely pleased with that concept.

The doctor’s visit yesterday went okay.  I was up three pounds from my Friday weight, which is actually great as usually the dr’s scale weighs me five pounds over mine, so I figure that’s a net loss of two pounds.  🙂  (That’s the Valerie Method of computing weight, thank you very much.  Patent Pending.) 

In other news, yesterday was not a gold star day, but it was a silver.  I was not within my calories, but I did get in all my nutritionals (barely!) and I worked really hard in my workout.  I won’t talk about the things I ate that I shouldn’t have because evidently the Goddess of PMS Cravings is still very much in power, but I got the good stuff and that was what I was going for. So I’m good with yesterday.  I also had a wonderful morning with ED and we got to spend some good mother-daughter time together even if it did involve getting poked with needles.  Hey, you take what you can get.  🙂  I also took her to visit the couch we picked out…she loved it too.  The people at the furniture store got quite a kick out of us coming to visit it too.

So.  Today I am going for gold, though.  I’m at a point where I’m really out of patience with myself and have given myself a stern talking-to. 

Remember my Inner Jillian?  (If you don’t, you’re probably one of the lucky ones who missed THAT series of posts.)  Well, we had a little discussion last night about enjoying a moment when it presents itself – like the opportunity to have a great morning and a meal with my daughter and enjoy something crazy like, oh, say, chocolate chip pancakes (just a random example)  – and not regretting it or feeling guilty, but then moving on and getting back to healthy.  Meaning, don’t make yourself miss out on a really special moment because it doesn’t fit your plan…but know the difference between a really special moment and just giving in to laziness/cravings/lethargy/depression/stress or any number of other triggers we have that make us eat stuff we know isn’t really great for us.  So, eat the chocolate chip pancakes (again that’s just a random example, naturally…but if I had eaten any I am sure they would have been a little slice of heaven) and then move on.  Don’t make it an excuse to then eat an entire box of cookies and two bags of chips and a cheeseburger and fries and a milkshake and…whatever.  (Now that I really didn’t do.) 

So anyway.  It was a great “conversation”.  🙂  It’s all about balance really; in the end I think that’s what everything in the world comes down to.  I really should change the title of my blog to “Balancing the Scales”, you know?  I may.  Probably won’t, but I may.

So today’s going to be a great, really great day.  And I hope that it is a really great day for all of you as well!

(Oh, and we ordered our couch last night.  YAY!  Two weeks or so and I am SO excited!)

This post available on CD via SillyBrry Media, TFC.  Call 1-800-RAMBLON to reserve your copy today and receive a free set of Ginsu Steak Knives!

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Good (veryextremelyearly) Morning, Blogland!  And Happy Monday!  Today is the first day of my “get up a little early and blog at home so I don’t burn work time doing it” habit.  Though I must confess I didn’t really mean “get up at 3:30 when the cat decides he wants out, because I can’t go back to sleep”.  But I guess that was what was in the cards.  So here I am!

I am really glad the weekend is over…and may I say that I hope that everyone out there had a much, much better weekend than I did?  Okay, it wasn’t all bad.  In fact, there were a few very bright spots for which I am very grateful, like a really great walk yesterday with a great neighbor and some wonderful conversation.  (Yes, I admit I did most of the talking.  *sheepish grin*  Okay, who’s surprised by that?)   But…it was just one of those weekends where everyone is a little out of sorts and off-kilter, nothing quite goes the way you plan it or want it to go, and the general effect is one of low-level anxiety and a pervasive sense of an aimless lack of control.

I really did try to keep things in focus but I must sadly admit that the dream of a Gold Star April is no more.  It’s ironic, too, that it wasn’t a binge or stress-eating or PMS cravings that did me in…although I suppose stress and cravings could be said to have played a part.  But really it was just an evening out where I really wanted to forget all the tension and upheaval around me and enjoy myself with my family, and I did.  And not really, I am somewhat chagrined to admit, in moderation.

There are good points.  I didn’t drink – it’s been a while since I’ve done that and frankly I strongly suspect I’ve lost the knack anyway.  I didn’t order dessert.  I ate one roll instead of three.  I had a steak instead of breaded, fried chicken strips or something equally atrocious.  I did eat my salad.  (All of these are very different from what I would have done a few years ago, if it helps.)  But…I ate the cheese fries, and honestly I ate a pretty big portion.  I wanted them more than I wanted anything else in the meal.  I didn’t restrain myself.  I did eat a roll, with whatever it is they’re passing for butter.  I had a baked potato (yesafterthecheesefries!), again with butter or whatever it is, I didn’t even ask because I didn’t care.  I had real ranch dressing on the salad, and no, I didn’t dip my fork.  I smothered it.  Okay, not smothered, there wasn’t that much in the little cup, but you know, I used it all.  And I drank a Diet Coke instead of water. 

So, you know, it wasn’t pretty.  Oh yeah, and I forgot the coconut shrimp.  Oops.  I did bring about half the steak home, and I gave DH half my shrimp and still ended up bringing some of that home too.  But honestly, those were the least offensive of the menu items so, you know, no medals there. 

The rest of the weekend wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great either.  I realized last night that I hadn’t so much as sniffed a banana or apple all weekend, though I did get my veggies in.  (How oddly backward is THAT, for me?)  So I sort of binged on fruit last night…inasmuch as one can binge on fruit.  We also finished off the sugar-free chocolate cake but my piece wasn’t that big.  But on top of the rest of the day, well…

And there wasn’t a lot of exercise.  Well…formal exercise.  I cleaned like a madwoman all day Saturday; I think for me sometimes cleaning is almost symbolic, sort of a way of eliminating some of the mental clutter and baggage and cobwebs. (Which explains why my house is frequently a mess.)  I don’t know how effective it was but man, is my sink shiny!  (Well, no, because people keep on putting dishes in it, but it WAS.)  And my bathrooms are exquisitely clean…and the laundry’s done.  Not folded or put away, but clean.  I’ll do the rest tonight, I promise.  So I burned quite a few calories and I have some muscles that are more sore than they are after a circuit – but I don’t think I get to count that.  I did get my cardio in yesterday, which was supposed to have been a rest day but I’m calling Saturday that.  The walk was great and led to a wonderful conversation, which was awesome.  Really, though, I don’t feel great about my (complete lack of) dedication to my healthy lifestyle over the past few days.

So.  Confession over, and moving on.  We also went couch-shopping (this may not sound that exciting but I LOVE furniture shopping shopping of any kind.)  The process was fun in itself and I think we’ve found the one we want…a sectional actually and I swore I would never own a sectional…but this is an awesome piece of furniture.  I am in love.  DH has indicated that we may go ahead and order it tonight; it would take a couple of weeks to come in.  I hate waiting and will probably dream about this thing every night until it gets here.  It’s…amazing.  It’s pretty (sectionals usually aren’t in my opinion) and exquisitely comfortable and you could easily sleep a family of five on it without complaints of overcrowding.  Okay, maybe one or two complaints.  But it’s awesome.  And bearing in mind that our current couch is 15 years old, this is a big deal for us!  🙂

So…today is doctor’s visit, and naturally it comes after a weekend of crap eating and no exercise so I’m probably retaining some fluid and up a pound or two.  Can’t tell because, of course, the scale’s broken.  I have got to get a new one but I’m dreading getting used to a new one because I know it will weigh heavier.  That’s just how my luck runs.  Oh well, at least if I get one today I can pretend it’s up because it’s a new scale and not because I ate like an idiot all weekend.  🙂  But maybe it would be better to NOT get one for a few weeks, because if I behave, just think how far down it would be?  Hm…

Not really looking forward to the doctor, not dreading it either…I am going to ask him to do a complete physical so I can sort of get an idea of my progress, health-wise.  I’m also asking him to see ED and order a bunch of tests so we can see exactly what’s going on with her.  But I am just not nearly as stoked about the visit as I would have been had I behaved all weekend.  Ah, well.  I always seem to do that; sabotage myself just before a doctor’s visit.  Maybe it’s so I can learn remind myself that it’s really not about one day, or one weekend…living healthy is about what choices you make the majority of the time.  And the majority of the time, I am doing really, really well.  So I’m going to stop stressing over it.  I mean, it’s not like I don’t have plenty of other things to stress over.  Hah!  (Honestly?  I don’t.  I am just really good at absorbing other people’s stress.)

ED and boyfriend (BF I think I shall call him) are having some difficulties.  It hurts me for both of them because they are both amazing and very dear to me, but I am not sure they are meant to be (meant to be together, not meant to be dear to me).  Now, they’re 16, so it’s not all that surprising that they probably aren’t “forever” but I know it makes both of them very sad.  I am really hoping that they are able to have a very special Prom night regardless, but…I’m afraid it’s going to be overshadowed and that makes me sad too. 

I wish I could just fix everything for the whole world…right now that’s pretty much where all my stress is coming from, because my own life is better than I have any right to expect.  (And I do hope everyone’s knocking on wood for me after saying that!) I just hurt for other people and wish I could wave a wand and make everything better.  I don’t handle extended stress, conflict and drama well.  I’m Irish, for crying out loud!  You know how we do things – we get mad, we yell, we fight, then we laugh and have sex (sometimes both at the same time) and it’s all good!  And the whole process takes about fifteen minutes except for maybe the sex.  And twenty minutes later we’ve forgotten the whole thing.  Except for, hopefully, the sex.

Ah well.  The world will go as it will, and not as you or I would have it.  I know that quote’s from the Wheel of Time but I also think it’s from somewhere else and I just can’t stinkin’ remember where because frankly, it’s really early and I’ve already been up too long.  I hate when I lose sleep.  I really do.

Today I am going to focus on the basics – getting my nutritionals in and getting my workout in.  I am going to hope for staying within calories but realistically, it’s going to be a busy and chaotic day and I have PMS cravings out the yin-yang.  So I am not reaching for the stars (HAH!  get it?  Gold Stars?) but I am definitely going to get my feet firmly planted on the ground.  (Anyone else having flashbacks of the American Top 40, there?)  Tomorrow is soon enough for the stars.  Well, I’d better get a silver today…but you know.  Tomorrow’s soon enough to go for gold.  🙂

I’m going to go do some yoga, inside unfortunately as outside it’s (a) cold and (b) dark.  I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday and that it’s the start of a wonderful banner week!

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Happy Saturday morning, everybody!  Let me begin by saying I am operating on about four hours of sleep and should not be trusted with heavy machinery just now, and that definitely includes a computer.  I found myself staring at the headlines on MSN.com wondering why Shaq was going  to be in the X-Files movie, blearily realizing it said “X-Factor” and “playoffs”.  Which my brain translated to “Olympics”.  Gah.  So please bear this in mind when reading the ensuing post.

However, this may be my only chance to post today and there are a couple of things I simply must say.  They are extremely important.

First, please accept my apologies for any late-night-and-seemingly-drunken comments that may have been left on your blogs.  Ahem.  I promise I wasn’t drunk.  Just extremely tired and high on the emotional equivalent of a bad crack cocaine/laughing gas cocktail.  If that were even possible which I hope to God for the sake of our world it isn’t.  OH dear God I hope I haven’t just given some odd little troll somewhere an idea that is going to backfire badly in the form of a new drug.  Anyway.

Secondly, thank you all so much for being so wonderful.  I just really love you all.  I will admit that I am a bit PMSy (the weepy drippy kind, not the raging axe-murderer kind) and also very fatigue-drunk, but today I am just really feeling the love.  And yes, I do feel somewhat of a cross between a Hallmark card and a Bud Light commercial.  I almost think I should be applying for membership in this past season’s Biggest Loser Blue Team. 

Come on everybody, Pride on 3, Pride on 3…

Sigh.  Anyway.  I was a bit out of sorts yesterday evening (hysterical maniacal laughter ensues – really, Valerie?  Honestly?  Because you seemed so rational and balanced!) and for whatever reason all of your comments on my last two posts just really soothed my heart.  The funny thing is, my heart is actually okay right now, it’s just hurting for other people I care about and can’t help.  So I guess in a way it’s not okay.  But anyway. 

I must again wrest the keyboard away from myself as clearly the coffee isn’t kicking in fast enough.  But I want to say that the people I have met on this Challenge and even before, through the blog communities, are some of the most caring and generous and wonderful people imaginable and I am so very blessed to have “met” you.  Thank you so much for being you.  I know what my next Thursday post is going to be about, that’s for sure!  🙂

Now I have to go get ready for an insanely early soccer game in another town that I couldn’t even find on my own probably.  Thank God for DH.  On so many, many levels.  I love that man so much.  Sometimes he amazes even me with his wonderfulness.

Oops, there I go again.

Have a wonderful Saturday and a beautiful weekend!

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