Well, it’s Friday again. What a week.
I never did get a chance to post yesterday, and I really don’t want anyone to think it’s because I couldn’t come up with anything to be thankful for. Actually, there are probably too many things, just now, to even pick one. I was just extremely busy and it was a bizarre sort of day.
It started off with me not-quite-but-almost witnessing a car accident. I was about five minutes behind it and came upon the scene while two wonderful gentlemen were attempting to extract one of the occupants from the overturned vehicle. They were able to get the woman out, but her husband was stuck pretty badly and emergency crews had to partially disassemble the vehicle to get him out. Both of them were taken to the hospital but I think they are both going to be fine – though there is a distinct possibility that the man had suffered a stroke; he had definitely suffered something, which was what caused the accident. It was a single vehicle accident but no less horrific for them because of that fact.
I wasn’t really able or required to do a lot…I called 911, and a neighbor and I sat with the woman, who was terrified and traumatized, while the whole thing went on, until they got her husband out, got both of them stretchered and took them away in the ambulance. I guess it was enough. It wasn’t much, and I truly and devoutly hope that God blesses the men who were working so hard for these people – not only the emergency crews but particularly the men who were just passing by and stopped – enormously. I mean, I hope they had the best days of their entire lives yesterday, and I wish them a string of a hundred more best days. I hope they win the flippin’ lottery. I do. They deserve it.
I’m sort of just roiling with emotion about it, and I can’t even articulate most of it. Mostly I’m terribly hurt for the accident victims – I don’t know them personally but I know someone who does, and they are people who just don’t have much at all. They’re what we in WV call “country”, meaning they live a very simple and basic life and don’t have a lot. Not necessarily because they aren’t capable of having more, but because they don’t see the need for more. They work, but they aren’t ambitious and they aren’t acquisitive. They cut firewood for the stove in the winter, they draw water from the creek, they grow a lot of their own food and they don’t do it because they’re worried about global warming or because it’s a socially popular behavior…(or even because they’re worried about genetically altered food or growth hormones in the chicken, like some of us who are STILL not motivated enough to plant a garden. Ahem.) They do it because that’s how they were raised, it works for them, and they don’t see the need to do things any differently.
It’s sort of a foreign notion to most of us…but it’s not uncommon in rural West Virginia. Which leads much of the rest of the country to look down on us as “redneck” and “backward” and a hundred other, less-flattering adjectives. We’re “poverty-stricken” and “underprivileged” (as a state, not me personally).
What most people don’t realize – or, if they do, abhor – is that for many of these people, this is a choice. Not because they’re too lazy to “do better for themselves” but because they just don’t see the need to live that way. What they have is enough, and for them, enough really is enough. So they don’t fit in…they don’t measure up…they aren’t “our kind of people”. Never mind that they really aren’t hurting anyone and, most of the time, are less harmful to or dependent upon the rest of the world than just about anyone (probably have the lowest carbon footprint of any family out there, the car they drive – drove – to work being their only major contribution to that; they won’t file Workers’ Comp even when they have a legitimate injury, and they wouldn’t take public assistance if you tied them up and held a gun to their heads, because they are stubborn and self-sufficient to a fault). Those don’t matter, because the bottom line is, they just aren’t like “us”. And we are conditioned to regard anyone and anything that is not like us with suspicion and dislike. Watch thou for the mutant. (John Wyndham, The Chrysalids.) And yes, these are the people you see on the news every single time West Virginia is mentioned – the ones with terrible grammar, a nearly incomprehensible twang, and who look like they dressed in the dark after a bad fight with a street gang. And probably look like they haven’t bathed in a while, whether that’s true or not. Those are the ones…and we all know how we tend to view these people. I’m as guilty of that as anyone, despite the fact that I of all people should know better – I know these people, and they’re people, not stereotypes! – and that’s part of the reason for my current angst.
But back to the point (yes, I promise, there is one!), this all means that, when they really are in need – for instance, something like this accident happens – there’s no one really willing to extend that helping hand. The neighbors, if they have any, aren’t going to show up at their door with casserole dishes in hand, to spare them the need of figuring out what to do about dinner when they get home from the ER. Nobody’s going to offer to give them a ride to work until they can repair or replace their vehicle. The little things that we do for one another – if we’re good neighbors…may not happen for these people, because they’re different.
Well, they will happen in this case, because some of us will make sure they do, even though we may not know the people that well. We know there’s a need, and honestly, isn’t that enough? But…in many cases, it wouldn’t. And that is really sad, I think. They’re people…they deserve the dignity and respect and care that all of us do, whether they live by “normal” standards or not.
Okay, so that’s my soapbox for the day. 🙂 Sorry. But as I said, I hurt for these people, and I’m a little angry on their behalf. Which they don’t need from me…because they’re not idiots or helpless. So I’m not doing them any favors with that either. Gah.
I think I will call this Emotionally Chaotic Friday. Heh. I am very glad that we are going to the cabin this weekend, because I’m pretty much full to the brim with everything and I’m ready to empty out a bit. I hope.
DH is having his surgery next Thursday and I know he’s nervous, though he won’t really admit it. I’m nervous about that too…it’s a very simple surgery but, working in medical malpractice for years, I know how easy it can be for simple things to go wrong. God, I hope he’s not reading this. Anyway. So that’s a bit nervous making though I’m trying not to sweat it…but positive thoughts and good wishes are more than welcome.
And as for what I’m thankful for? Well…I guess it would have to be empathy, and its sister-quality compassion. Even when I’m horribly uncomfortable because I’m feeling something for others, I am still thankful that I’m able to feel it. There are people in this world who do not seem capable of comprehending or caring about others’ hurts, even when they really care about those people or say they do. I am very, very glad that I am not one of those people, although on particularly difficult days I sometimes almost sort of wish I were. But never really. As difficult as it can be…I never want to be numb, because sometimes by sharing that suffering, we really can help to alleviate it. I couldn’t do anything tangible to help that woman yesterday…but I could give her a hug, hold her while she cried, and turn her face to my shoulder so that she didn’t have to see them tearing the door off the (nearly-new) truck and tossing her belongings everywhere as they were desperately trying to extract her husband, whose condition she did not know. Someone else could have done that, sure. But without empathy and compassion, no one would have, and that would be a terrible, terrible thing. So I’m very thankful for empathy and compassion, not only in myself, but in everyone else in this world who possess them. They are, I think, what make us more than just what we have to be to survive. And that brings to mind another book…Up A Road Slowly, by Irene Hunt. One sub-story of the book deals with a poor girl of subnormal intellect and the main character’s treatment of her, and the subsequent development of empathy and compassion…anyway.
And now I think I’ve made up for no post yesterday with an extra-long one today. I’d offer it on CD but I’m not sure it’s worth the hassle of burning it. 🙂 But I hope that you all have a particularly wonderful, gentle, happy day, and an absolutely stunning Memorial Day Weekend. Hugs to all.
You’d be surprised how much accident victims appreciate any bit of assistance they receive from someone. The wife and I witnesses a wreck on the way to the beach one time – a pickup changed lanes and hit a motorcycle with a couple on it. I stopped, Dawn grabbed a sheet and first aid kit from the trunk and went to work. When they EMTs arrived, they were impressed with everything she had done. Anyway, we received a Christmas card from the folks on the motorcycle for years afterwards. I’m sure what you did was greatly appreciated.
On the one hand I’m incredibly sad that people would treat others that way because of who they are… I mean I was raised to be ‘colorblind’ but not to be ‘lifestyle’ blind and I know I’ve judged people for choosing to live a certain way.
On the other hand I’m in awe at the goodness of people, people like those of you who stopped. It’s so easy to just look the other way, keep driving and push the people out of your thoughts. Instead you guys chose to be there in whatever way you knew how for the couple.
Empathy means that you will go through life feeling a lot of hard emotions that don’t belong to you, but you’ll also feel lots of extra joy as well. That’s amazing!
{{{HUGS}}} right back to you! What a horrible thing to experience, but at the same time, how uplifting to see the compassion and dedication that resulted from it!
I know what you mean by “country folk”. 🙂 I have a family full of them and I love them all. There are a couple who might qualify for Redneck status, but they have good hearts and that’s what matters most.
I hope you’ve recovered (or ARE recovering) from the trauma of yesterday and that you have a most magificent weekend!
I know they must have appreciated you being there for them. They were lucky to have someone there. I come across so many people in the er who don’t have anyone to call upon in a crisis, its sad. Your a wonderful person for checking on them, keep us updated. BTW, we have “country folk” in Illinois as well, and I see many people can think of them as a lower class. Very pathetic actually. Its the heart that matters, not your color, race, or location.
holy moley.
Im quite confident that BEYOND appreciated you.
just that scenario/your response speaks volumes about who you are.
You write so eloquently..and yet manage to conjour up a smile in me..even on the bleaker of subject matters. It sounds like a very disturbing scenario and it was beautiful that you lent support. You are good people , V! I hope the surgury and recovery goes well. Good luck. Thinking good thoughts for you and your family! XOXOXOXO
Hey V.
Hope all is well for you and your family. I will be thinking about you and your husband’s surgery tomorrow. Speeding recovery to him
checking in on you…..