Okay, I did it. I allowed myself to be sucked into the AOL comment-flame-war mentality. 😦
Forgive me…I will warn in advance that this is angry and opinionated and…hostile.
But I mean, honestly. Sometimes people make me so angry I could cry. Here is this father, who is a fashion designer, talking about the sobering discovery that his daughter has an eating disorder, and lamenting the unrealistic standards of the fashion industry that help to create situations like this.
And several comments down, here’s this troll commenting that a size 10 to 12 is only average because Americans are all fat, and we shouldn’t pretend that’s acceptable. And meanwhile, she is a size zero and perfectly healthy. (She’s responding to a somewhat angry comment that the father’s promotion of a size 4 to 6 is not any better than the fashion industry standard of 0 to 2. I thought that comment was a bit overheated too, though I agreed.)
I only commented (mine is about number 41 or so) because I couldn’t reach “J”, to knock her the f&*k out. And it is so good that I couldn’t because I don’t think I’d have stopped kicking her when she lost consciousness…
Am I the only person who is sick to utter death at these women who help perpetuate the myth that we all need to be a particular size? Please don’t misunderstand me…I am on a journey here, striving for the utter limit of good health and wellness and fitness, and I don’t intend to stop ever because, well, you can’t. You don’t get there and then go on vacation. It’s for life. But…
I also accept that “healthy” for me is not the same as “healthy” for someone else. At a size 16/18, I was horribly unhealthy. I was heading for an early grave. At a size 8, I’m in pretty darned good shape. But I know women who, at a size 16/18, are in great shape. They’re strong, they have excellent medical test results, they are athletic, they are happy. For them, health is not about a number or a measurement or a BMI or anything else. I also know women who are a size 2, who can’t carry a damned 24-pack of bottled water and couldn’t finish a 5K if their lives depended on it. It’s not about a number on the scale or the tape measure.
Why do we do this to our daughters? Our sisters, our mothers, our nieces and friends? Ourselves? I am so, so sad. Because it’s bad, it’s really bad, when the faceless media does it to us. It’s unforgiveable when we do it to each other.
Madelaine Albright said, “There’s a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” I believe that. And as far as I’m concerned, “J” has a one-way ticket. If that’s overly hostile…okay. I can live with that.
Ya know..those comment areas can be so nasty. The anonymity of the internet give people way too much power. There is always some angry ignoramus going off about something inappropriate. That’s when we need to believe in karma. You know what’s right and you are giving your daughters the right tools just by walking the walk..not just talking the talk. I am so glad I am not a young girl now..with all the skimpy clothes!! When I was in high school , it was big sweaters and stirrup pants! Good luck to you and your girls..and to me and mine. 🙂
Preach on, Sister! I so agree with you! The person who inspired me to start my own fitness journey is a size 12-14–all muscle, and she looks great! Another friend is a size 0 and can’t carry a 12 pack of toilet tissue 50 yards to her car. Not all 12/14s or 0s have these same issues, which is exactly your point, I think. It’s our actions that speak loudest, and there are lots of folks at either end of the weight spectrum eating healthy and exercising, and lots of folks doing the opposite.
Sheesh, now I’m upset. 🙂
well, don’t that beat all? i think those kinds of comments are what make people fail at this long term weight loss and healthy lifestyle. it is impossible for all women (or most) to even try to get to that fashion model thin place that the magazines put on the covers. and, don’t people realize that those folks are airbrushed anyway? go to the dove campaigne on line and watch the video. that pretty much gives a visual about what it takes to look like the models (it involves a lot of photoshop edits!). i get tired of stupid people trying to tell me what “looking good” looks like. i think i look pretty darn good considering what i looked like last year, and i can not concentrate on what the media says is success, i have to stay focused on what i say is success. do i look like the models? no, will i ever? no. do i want to? actually, no! i like my natural curves, i like my unique beauty, i like me. do i want to be healthier so i can run around with my grandchildren when and if i ever get any? yes! and that is what this is all about. so, here’s to us wonderful women that can say up yours to a shallow minded industry and can do this healthy lifestyle for the right reasons! we rock!
True, what size someone is doesn’t healthy make. In fact the latest studies show that people who are a bit “overweight” live longer. But really, are you overweight just because you don’t fit within some conformist rule that was set by an industry that makes money off of squeezing people into clothes they don’t need by having them go on fad diets that aren’t neccessary? Just think of the billions of dollars these industries make off of human insecurity. It saddens me that people are comfortable in their ignorance and don’t want to think beyond the limits set by society…and not even society but he big companies that dictate what society should think. Just eat heathly, stay active and try to avoid the dumbasses out there (if you can). There’s my 2 cent ramble.
xo
-Bex
I’m petite so I started this weight loss journey at a size 10. I’m about halfway to goal and wear a size 6 in jeans. I have broad shoulders and boobs so my shirt and dress size fell from 14 to 10 so far. I would like to finish this journey at a size 8 on top and a size 4 on the bottom. I’m working out and gaining muscle. I just started C25K. I might be a goal weight before I get to the point where I can run 30 minutes straight. Healthy (strength, good immunity, endurance) is more important than size. I don’t want to lose so much weight that I’m losing bone or muscle.
You are most certainly not the only one who is sick of this “must be Size X” mentality. It’s poisonous and it’s everywhere. The thing about commenting on blogs on controversial topics is that people hide behind their screen and type faster than their minds can think and often wind up saying dumb crap that is incredibly offensive. You word – troll – exactly! At least you helped set them straight 🙂